Missile Command!

Step One: Play any video on YouTube. 

Step Two: Type "1980" without pressing any other key.

Step Three: Enjoy the Easter Egg. 

Yes, this classic Napoleon selfie may or may not be completely unrelated to this post. 

The Beautiful Sourness of Arthur Schopenhauer

When feeling particularly sour it is useful to compare your gloomy sentiments to what I call the Schopenhauer Scale of Sourness. 

So it begins:

Level 1: "Life is so short, questionable and evanescent that it is not worth the trouble of major effort."

Level 2: "We can regard our life as a uselessly disturbing episode in the blissful repose of nothingness."

Code Red Level 3 (Call Oprah): "It is bad today and everyday it will get worse , until the worst of all happens."

Scopenhauer was so eloquent in his sourness that he can bring a smile to my face whenever I reflect on the extremity of his misanthropy. 

Consider these gems of bitterness:

On his lack of friends and social interaction: "A man of genius can hardly be sociable, for what dialogues could indeed be so intelligent and entertaining as his own monologues?"

On women: "Only the male intellect, clouded by the sexual impulse, could call the undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged sex the fair sex."

And the Pièce de résistance! 

"Much would have been gained if through timely advice and instruction young people could have had eradicated from their minds the erroneous notion that the world has a great deal to offer them."

Wow, right?!

 I know that positivity is meant to create more of the good stuff but sometimes such outright bleh-the-world-sucks negativity can actually make me feel more positive because intrinsically I know it is all a bit ridiculous anyway. 

Are You Gonna Eat Your Cornbread?!

Whoo, I just remembered this classic scene from Life... That's a high school throwback right there. 

Anyway, I baked this last night and it came out pretty damn tasty.

Recipe (adapted from Recipes From The Royal Kitchen):

2.5 cups of cake flour
1 tablespoon of baking power
A pinch of salt
3/4 cups sugar
125 grams melted butter
2 extra large eggs 
1 tub of full fat cream cheese
3/4 condensed milk

1. Sift all the dry ingredients and add the sugar and melted butter
2. Whisk eggs and condensed milk together and add flour mixture and then mix well.
3. Turn out into a greased loaf tin and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degrees for about 50 minutes. 

Note: If the edges get too brown but the middle isn't cooked, cover the tin with tinfoil and stick it back in the oven. 

P.S. This recipe book was free with this month's Food & Home magazine. Yup, I'm basically a suburban mom. 

The Internet

Aint Nobody Got Time For That!

Three Things That I Love Right Now

1. This woman. Iranian actress Golshifteh Farahani. Beautiful. 

2. This bathroom display thingy. Gosh, I just love me some finely placed products. La Mer, I see you. Foliage, keep doing what you're doing...

3. This shortie. Cool Unicorn Bruv. Brits, you gotta love 'em! Nah, that's Pegasus...

What If..

Schmidt!

I love me some Schmidty. 

The real guy Max Greenfield is pretty great too. 

Read here for proof. 

To Cece, after she asks about having car sex: "I can't do any of my moves in there. I like to improvise with my body. I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience."

Shh!

Michael Jordan!

Ever since I fell in love with Space Jam I have loved Michael Jordan.


This tumblr: http://wtfismikewearing.tumblr.com/ makes me love him even more (if that's possible). 

Kokorico!

This advert is just so ridiculous. 


Zoolander meet your match.


P.S.  Kokorico is the French onomatopoeia for a rooster’s cry.

Han-gree!

My life captured in a word. Well, except for when I'm stuffing cake into my cheeks..not so hangry then..

Fat Karl Lagerfeld!

The Kaiser might think that Adele is 'a little too fat' now, but unfortunately for him the internet remembers..


'a little too fat' or Mister 'I never touch sugar, cheese, bread..' it doesn't make much difference to me, Karl is what most celebrities fail to be: entertaining, unique and talented. 

'My thing is to work more than the others to show them how useless they are.' Karl Lagerfeld

Justin Bieber Versus Dudley O'Shaughnessy!

They've both got the looks that ladies love.

They've both mastered The Pout.

Now who's gonna rule the world?

RiRi's boxing beaut or Mister Baby-Baby-Baby-Oooh?

Topshop in South Africa!

Look and you shall find! 


For years South African fashionistas have bemoaned the absence of Topshop.


Meanwhile our hearts truest desire has been waiting for us in Newtown! 

Burberry For Breakfast!

For the most important meal of the day only Burberry Flakes will do.

According to Hova, Beyonce only wears Burberry to swim, but I gotta get mine with some low-fat milk, you dig? 

Feminist Ryan Gosling!

This just makes me smile. 

Steve Urkel Steez!

At the height of his popularity, Urkel's name was branded to several products including a short-lived fruit flavored cereal known as Urkel-Os and a Steve pullstring doll.

Champagne For My Real Friends!



Water cooler conversation would be a lot more interesting if there was Moet on tap.

"Come quickly, I am tasting the stars!" Dom Perignon, at the moment he discovered champagne.

Anna Wintour Has a Chuckle!

Anna Wintour laughing.

Anna Wintour laughing?!

I'm just as shocked as the girl on the side.