I Feel Like I Look A Little Bit Like Ryan Gosling

Just a little bit. But it is undeniable okay.

This photo was taken on a very sad day (I always smile through the tears).

Now, now, it wasn't a sad day for anything real or important. Never that. Concisely, it was a sad day because #middleclassproblems.

Tommy and I had gone to the Winter Sculpture Fair (great idea) but we didn't draw cash before (very bad idea) and so with most of the card machines not working we shared a single glass of wine and a single tuna patty! THE HORROR. Listen, I had planned to eat like it was the last supper. I didn't really give a hot damn about the sculptures. I mean, I'm all about food, really. So it was quite tragic. Also, it wasn't very funny that the event was sponsored by Mastercard. But, I got quite drunk (I'm sad and cheap like that) and it was very pretty and the people watching was excellent. 

So basically this is a note to myself: pack cash like you trying buy a-grade drugs. 

Let's Begin!

Happiest 2014! We're back babes! Dry your eyes and dance!

It's a bit late for a new year's hello but since the Parisian party we celebrated New Year's Eve at didn't even do a countdown, I feel a bit out of touch.

Homies did not give a hot damn about that countdown business.

This out of touch feeling was compounded by the fact that while everyone was returning to work (askies) and getting on the cursed resolutions bandwagon, Tommy and I were eating and drinking our way through the French capital with much glee, fuckery and remorse after excessive consumption. It was a three week long bacchanal that caused me to return a bit plump-y and useless but I loved it! We also managed to visit a whole bunch of museums so my brain is also plump-y with inspiration and wonder.

Paris is a wonderful place for people like me who become evangelical about tasty food. 

I can still remember with vivid, almost pornographic detail a grape that I ate three years ago... 

I am going to try to recreate some of the yummies that I had the pleasure of inhaling so that the good times can roll on throughout 2014. Hopefully I will not be rolling around too.

Anyhoo, we're glad to be back home, there's truly no place as great as this.

Everything is going to be amazing and there's gonna be a whole lotta posts coming up this week so come back and love us. 

Bubble Tea!

Food trends are my favourite trends. Unlike fashion trends you actually have to eat to enjoy them. Food is the new black says Huffpo and I just wanna get trendy in my belly! 

The first food trend that I indulged in was Freezochinos. Whoop, Y2K throwback! They made me feel grown-up and American. All that I wanted to be as a fourteen year old girl. With thoughts of Cher from Clueless in my mind, my aunt and I would go to Brazilian and order them extra strong, that's how we knew it was real. 

I kinda believed the hype that they were just ice and coffee because they were so gosh darn delicious that I needed consent from the food police in my brain. I later found out to my horror that those icy demons are calorie dense and probably diabetes-inducing. It was cool while it lasted though. 

Since then I've dabbled with red velvet, which I might add, is over now. They sell red velvet cupcakes at Engen. Game over! I've also flirted with almond milk and coconut milk, both delicious and nutritious too. I love milk though, so it was an easy sell. I've also preached the virtues of quinoa (say it with me now: keen-wa) and wept at its cost. But I'm yet to experience a cronut, heck, I haven't even had a doughnut since the dark days of childhood obesity. 

Today I had Bubble Tea from Happy Me and I gotta say I experienced a roller-coaster of emotions. First, I was super excited. I loved the idea, "ooh things from Taiwan" I mumbled to myself. I then ordered one with panna cotta and espresso, it was nice, kinda, the panna cotta is not a flavor as I had thought but rather a weird jelly thing floating at the bottom. I felt like I was drinking something from The Jetsons, in a good way. Then I whipped out my camera for the obligatory #yum post and the manager got excited and order me a traditional bubble tea with the tapioca pearls. At first I really liked it then I started thinking the pearls have the texture of what I'd imagine toad eggs to have and safe to say, it was all pretty much downhill from there. That said, I am now craving the aforementioned toad-like treats so I dunno what my verdict is.  

It's typical of me that the longest post I've written in awhile is all about my favorite pastime: eating! 

Daleah's!

My homie Daleah has created a cosy and delicious spot to rival the very best in a little street that is so great that we call it a whole suburb: Braamfontein.

Miss insert-long-Greek-surname, may or may not have inadvertedly sponsored this post since I first emailed her one December afternoon whinging that I could bake and that I needed money (in nicer words of course) and she kindly obliged and so far this year I've baked close to 70 peanutbutter chocolate cakes for this fine establishment. 

So friends, hoes and that guy in Ukraine who all read this blog; please pop in, order my cake (of course) and be merry.

Eating The World!

From Seoul to Slovenia, London to Osaka... There's so much good eating to get done!

Restaurant and cafe design is my kinda porn on Pinterest and it is well documented that I love food. 

One of my favourite parts of our daily night time call is when Tommy and I share what we have eaten throughout the day. Banalities like this are the intimacy that yokes people together. I know that you had Weetbix (three sugars) for breakfast, therefore I understand and love you... Or something like that... 

I haven't found my absolute favourite place to dine or drink as of yet but Salon De Factory in Seoul has been one of my semi-favourites (click here) and the famous Angelina's in Paris (you gotta do it) had me drunk with happiness. In India we had thee best fish curry (and the softest rice) at Shiva Garden. Not a day goes by that I do not miss that teddy bear soft rice and spicy fish from heaven. 

Closer to home, Royale burgers and milkshakes should be deemed a tourist attraction with special mention going to the real prize of their menu being those heroin-laced sweet potato fries. In Joburg, I have no shame in admitting that I love Tasha's food. Goddamn. That cheesecake alone is worthy of celebration. I am also loving Warm & Glad because like the name says, it makes me feel both warm and glad (I hate myself for that sentence). 

Now I'm hungry and next on my to-eat list is roadhouse fare, I hear that Louis Botha is home to a  couple of gems and this weekend I hope to wink at death while hoovering a burger and milkshake. 

Eat This: Akhalwayas!

Yoh. Middle center! My tummy was so happy. 

We need to nationalize this asap. 

Extremely Creamy!

This was gone way too soon. 

I need a six-pack of these babies for my Mad Men fiesta this weekend. 

Banana Bread Blues

Sometimes I just need someone to put a blanket on me and say "hey, I know that people are thee worst but here's some fantastic banana bread". 

This banana bread doesn't make it better, but it sure does help. 

But seriously, why do people suck so much?

Breakfast Cake!

I have heard about this conspiracy to name and shame muffins for what they really are: cake! 

No man. 

Muffins are different, distant cousins of cake really.

The fact that some muffins can be somewhat healthy (stretch of the word) is proof that muffins are not like their icing-laden friends. 

These muffins are yummy, healthy (there it is again) and easy to make and I added shredded coconut just because. 

Happy Monday y'all! 

Cake! Cake! Cake!

I baked this last night and heaven opened her gates. 

I Love Coconuts!

Like olives, coconuts tend to divide all people into two camps. Me? I love all things coconut. 

The smell of The Body Shop coconut body butter is enough to send me on a drug-like high. Bounty bars, coconut ice-cream and even Tennis biscuits; basically I love it all.


This cheesecake recipe is my own, born out of a love for trying to fit all of my favourite things into one cake. So naturally that means that there is Nutella in there too..

Piñata!

Piñata cookies.

The best thing that I never knew even existed before the internet. 

Pistachio Brownies!

Previously the food editor for British Vogue, Annie Bell is now a food writer and blogger. 

Her new baking book is on my list of books to paw over at Exclusive while ordering countless almond squares..

And her recipe for pistachio brownies (from her blog) is on my ever-growing to bake list.

The search for the perfect brownies is never ending! Aluta continua! 

Things To Be Happy About

Ice-cream and peanut butter sandwiches.

Colour coordinating your books.

Ornate details mixed with casual styling.

The world is a wonderful place!

Happiness in a blogpost!

Chocolate Cake!

My dear friend Nomalanga Ntuli (name and surname! Best believe!) asked me for a chocolate cake recipe and of course I could only oblige given the fact that I have a trusty recipe that is both magical and easy. I just love that combo magical and easy..


Plus she's a loyal reader and that's just how I roll..


So here it goes, go forth and prepare for marriage proposals (true story), hail Mary's and chocolate overdose!


Wet Chocolate Cake:


350g (2 and a half cups) self-raising flour
3/4 cup cocoa
1 and a half cups of sugar
pinch of salt
1 cup of oil (just go with it)
2 teaspoons vinegar
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 eggs
2 cups of water (that's the wet part)


Icing:


2 tablespoons butter
2 dessertspoons cocoa
1 and a half cups of icing sugar
1 unbeaten egg white


I normally leave out the icing cause I'm lazy and the cake doesn't really need it. 
Sometimes I add Oreos or hazelnuts to the batter.


Method:


Preheat the oven to 180 Degrees Celsius 


Sift together the self-raising flour, cocoa, sugar and salt (all the dry ingredients) and mix.


Add the oil, vinegar and vanilla and then mix very well.


Add the eggs and water and mix very well until smooth (it seems very watery at first, but trust!).


Put into a greased ovenproof dish and bake for approximately 40mins (check with a toothpick).


Make the icing by melting the butter with the cocoa.


Stir until blended.


Blend the icing sugar with the unbeaten egg white and then add to the cocoa/butter mixture and stir over a low heat until blended.

Ice the cake when it has cooled. 


Adapted from Linda Levy.

Nigella!

I love cheesecake.


I love most decadent desserts because they promise a heady elixir of guilt and delight. 


This cheesecake is worthy of all that calorie-induced guilt and then some.


Baking cheesecake is ridiculous since it must cool in the fridge overnight, basically forcing me to eat it for breakfast and then for a 'snack' and then just because I might as well since I've already eaten two slices and it's not even 1pm..


P.S. Check out this (http://call-me-cupcake.blogspot.com/) amazing Swedish food blog, the snaps are diabetes-inducing and delicious and, well, it's Swedish..

Glamour Pud!

Before I begin, my somewhat non-existent photography skills must be noted. I have reduced a yummy, moreish pudding to a half-eaten (more like inhaled) disaster...

But my tummy didn't mind my lack of presentation, it was delicious!

I didn't make any friends as the recipe promised because I simply didn't share, but this recipe will certainly be repeated until my jeans don't fit, then I'll buy some jeggings and bake up some more (it's that good). 

By the way, I found this recipe in the February Glamour issue. 

Food Porn!

If you're not hungry now then you cannot be my friend.

I'm baking these today. Cream cheese plus chocolate, my kind of heart attack. 

P.S. Check out the link for other recipes, Smittenkitten is tried and trusted by me, a baker with no scale, no mixer and scant idea of the difference between Fahrenheit and degrees celcius...

Breakin' Bread!

Wholewheat Pacman

Studying all day is a recipe for depression, so I decided to take a break and Google bread recipes instead.

The recipe kinda flopped, but maybe that's because I stopped reading after it said 'knead' (I don't do that) and added Jungle Oats for good measure instead. 

It came out surprisingly well (if a hybrid between cake and bread is your thing). Carbs are always, always my thing so I'm easily satisfied. 

Plus the smell of bread baking is so comforting.

P.S. Early Egyptian writings urged mothers to send their children to school with plenty of bread and beer for their lunch. 

Pie Face!

First of all, I love pecan pie!

My dearest bestie Tumelo (shout out!) introduced me to this tasty ambrosia and now I feel that it's time to upgrade myself from the Woolworths version. 

I've made it a new years resolution to master the art of pie-making (best resolution ever). 

I'm going to start with this Martha Stewart recipe, but I'm going to replace the corn syrup with either honey or golden syrup. 

I'm gonna name my pie à la Waitress, I-hate-studying-so-I-bake pie...

Baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie, gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle. 
Baby don't be blue, gonna make for you, gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Gonna make a pie from heaven above, gonna be filled with strawberry love.
Baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie, and hold you forever in the middle of my heart.