Tommy's Post: Power Rangers Movie!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

When I was a young lion, all I wanted to be was a Power Ranger. 

Specifically, the Blue Ranger, Billy. I have no idea why because there actually was a ranger with my name; Tommy the White Ranger who used to be the angsty conflicted Green Ranger. 

I think it had something to do with the fact that he was the “white ranger”. Has anybody else realised that the yellow and black rangers were played by actors who were yellow and black...

Man, I was such a connoisseur, when my friends played we would create new Power Rangers...

Gold and Silver Ranger but some asshole ruined the game when he called himself the Diamond Ranger and made himself indestructible because his mum told him that diamonds are and I quote, “the strongest material known to man”.  We told that homie to squash off his red bums and go play with the girls.

Pictures of me from that era show a young yellow boy, trying to pull karate poses in his loose fitting underpants, this was before I started the McDonalds diet that basically ruined my tween days. Also, my parents, bless them, got me a book that had me in it with the Power Rangers, fighting the putty patrol and saving the day using our Zords.

“Tommy thank you for helping out the power rangers, you’re a really cool kid” said Jason, the Red Ranger. Yes, my childhood was better than yours.

There’s a power ranger’s movie coming out and despite the fact that it probably shaped my young life more than anything else, it will be terrible. A disgusting piece of cinema that will shatter dreams and destroy childhoods. Any actors unfortunate enough to be caught in that mess, I will pray for you.

Regardless, I’m still gonna watch it and will probably cry in the cinema.


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