The Vicky B Theory!

Monday, June 16, 2014


There was a time when this was the Spice Girls' world and we just danced in it.

I was like 11ish (I think) and the world was candy-colored and full of "girl power" and Union Jack swag. 

Like most butterfly-clip wearing preteens, I loved the spicy bunch and even had the video game. For the unacquainted, you could choose which Spice Girl you wanted to be and then Dance Dance Revolution your way to happiness. The thing is, I never chose Posh. Why? Well because even as an rotund board-short wearing preteen I knew that she was just... Uh, how do you say in your language... That's it: BASIC. I mean, proper. 

It wasn't really her fault though. She was a crap singer and dancer, she seemed kinda awks in her own body and she wasn't very posh at all (only David Beckham's accent is worse than hers). 

Fast-forward to now and she's pretty fakking amazing. 

I don't have to tell you, you know. Hell, even Kanye knows. Apparently he is trying to turn Kimmy K into the next Vicky. *insert laughter track* But on the realz, her transformation is pretty gosh darn impressive, even butterflies are like "dayyum girl, you really know all 'bout metamorphosis". 

Now this isn't so much of a theory but I think that Vicky just always had it in her but she just knew that the time wasn't right in the early days. I mean, who was gonna take a pleather wearing gal from Essex seriously when it comes to serious-serious fashuun? Lesson Number 1: Stay in your lane. Lesson Number 1.2: Have a plan. 

So basically, everyone has a time when they're Posh (not that that's so bad but still) and a golden time when they're Vicky B Designer to MICHELLE OBAMA & Maker of Things Like THIIIIIIS! (click here). Lesson Number 2: Appreciate where you're at but always make that guap. 

Lesson Number Three: David Beckham is probably always a good idea. Everyone has their own D.B, so just think about it. 

As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that there's actually a whole manual that can be juiced from Vicky's life so I'm gonna stop right here for now. 

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